Don’t Be A Jackwagon
Everyone is fighting their own battle. Don't make it more difficult for them.
We all know the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, or some such thing as that. I don’t think it works as well as it should. It should work great. But if we were all doing unto others like we want done to ourselves, the world would be working much better than it is - or at least we’d be kinder to each other. What gives?
My opinion: There are jackwagons among us. The Golden Rule assumes all people want to be treated nicely. The Golden Rule doesn't account for masochists and cynics. Some people are jerks and expect others to be jerks to them. They have no other world view and they ruin it for everybody else. The good people (or non-jerks) have to brace for dealing with this minority. The Golden Rule then is reduced to a death spiral. It becomes less about "doing unto others as they do unto you" and more about "do unto others before they do unto you."
It's odd to be arguing against the Golden Rule. But the Golden Rule presupposes a baseline desire for people to want to be treated kindly. The Golden Rule doesn't work for people for whom the Golden Rule won't work. And sometimes it seems that that population is growing.
It only takes one bad apple to ruin the bunch. It only takes one jackwagon to ruin a good rule. The Golden Rule is hamstrung by jackwagons. We have to address them head-on. I suggest a New Golden Rule:
DON’T BE A JACKWAGON
What’s a jackwagon? Let me break this down for you. We’re all human beings here (generally speaking). We all have more shared experiences than we give ourselves credit for, thus we all know we’re all dealing with some shit. We know everyone has hopes and dreams and hardships. Everyone is trying their best just to get through it all. Yet it is not a competition. Your hopes, dreams, and hardships carry no more or less weight than anyone else’s hopes, dreams, and hardships.
A jackwagon, then, is a person who believes their hopes and dreams are more important, and their hardships more difficult, than everyone else’s.
Jackwagon [jak-wag-uhn]: Noun
A person who believes their hopes and dreams are more important, and their hardships more difficult, than everyone else’s.
We have entered the age of entitlement. The era of the jackwagon. This is a time where jackwagons feel empowered to… express themselves. You’ve seen them in the wild (often referred to as “Karen”). Their self-perceived status, believed to be so far superior than the rank and file, deems adherence to The Golden Rule somehow beneath them. “Do unto others? There are no others worthy of such consideration.”
Jackwagons will consistently fail the Shopping Cart Litmus Test
The shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test of whether a person is capable of self-governing. To return a shopping cart is an easy, convenient task and one which is recognized as the correct, appropriate thing to do. … It is not illegal to abandon your shopping cart, therefore the shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it.
The jackwagons among us do not recognize the ripples of their self serving behavior.
DON’T BE A JACKWAGON
I am not suggesting that it is incumbent on any of us to ease anyone else’s burden, only that your problems don't outweigh anybody else's (yes, yes, I know: your problems are huge, and heavy, and cumbersome). You have an impact, be it positive or negative, on everyone you come in contact with whether you like it or not. They are all dealing with their own problems (and yes, they are also huge, heavy, and cumbersome). Your interactions with them either add to their problems, or ease them if just by a little. If all that means is to be kind, then for the love of all things good and true, be kind.
Everyone is fighting their fight. We should at least be cheering each other on if not actively helping each other out. By finding happiness in the happiness of others you become the champion of other people's battles.
Don't be a jackwagon.
Be a champion.