FIND HAPPINESS IN THE HAPPINESS OF OTHERS

I am looking for a happiness that is sustainable. That will last for more than the gentle buzz of a martini. I need prolonged happiness. I want a happiness that lasts. Gimme the good stuff!

I am a selfish man. Seriously. My first and foremost concern is me. Regardless of what you might need, I need to take care of myself first. Food, shelter, clothing… then all the other stuff. This is the natural order of things. Self preservation is the primary goal. You are selfish too. No shame. This isn’t a bad thing. It’s what we humans do. Your primary concern should be yourself. Screw everybody else! Right?

Well… hold on for a second.

I have food, shelter, and clothing. I’m good there. I got a bunch of other stuff too. Yay, for me. But what I also want is to be happy. Selfishly. I want to be happy not for you, or anyone else. I want to be happy because I like being happy. You could say: happiness makes me happy. So, how do I go about doing that? How do I provide myself happiness?

We have already established that happiness is an emotion - it is a reaction to outside stimulus. So, there are things I can do to force myself to react: I can exercise, go for a walk in the park, visit my mom. Or maybe I want something more heightened. You know, sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll. All that jazz. The problem with all of those stimuli is that they are short lived. They are fleeting (sorry, Mom). I am looking for a happiness that is sustainable. That will last for more than the gentle buzz of a martini. I want need prolonged happiness. I want a happiness that lasts. Gimme the good stuff!

Where can I find a cheap, plentiful (almost unlimited) source of happiness stimulus? 

THE FOUNT OF HAPPINESS

It’s in other people. It’s in you. I have found the easiest, most profound, and lasting source of happiness is when other people are happy - when you are happy. You might call it “empathy”, but that seems so… somber a word. We could probably call it “happithy”: the ability to understand and share the happiness of others. 

Here’s the thing. We know everyone is trying in this life. We know there are things that make them happy. We know everyone is trying to make themselves happy, so they do those things that make themselves happy. Be happy for them.

It’s so simple.

You don’t have to care about what makes them happy. Hell, you don’t even have to like it. But, if it makes that person happy (and they’re not hurting anybody), be happy for them. Enjoy the idea that another person on this planet has found something they enjoy. What a pleasant thought! 

For example: there are people who like golf. They like to play golf. They like to watch golf. I hate golf. I think playing golf is a good walk ruined. Watching it makes my soul leech out of my eyeballs. I hate golf. But! I know people who really enjoy golf. They play it whenever they get a chance. For some unfathomable reason they can watch an entire match of it on TV. They actually like it. It makes them happy. And, you know something? That’s fantastic. I’m not about to argue my stance on the game. They like golf and that they do has absolutely no impact on my life whatsoever. 

More importantly than someone liking golf against my personal opinion is that they are happy. And in return I can be happy for them. I can be happy that golf makes them happy. Their happiness makes me happy. 

I am displaying happithy.

But, now we can up the payoff by a notch or two. Catch this magic:

I DON’T HAVE TO WAIT FOR YOU

I don’t have to wait to discover what makes someone happy so that I can then feel happy for them. No! I can get the good stuff at will. I can actually make people happy. Why would I do that? Well, when I make someone else happy, it reflects back tenfold. I can bask in that like a tanning bed. So, all I have to do is make you happy. Sounds daunting, but it’s not.

Making you happy is easy. Making anybody happy is easy. Here’s the trick: I already know you (see previous post). I know you are trying (see same previous post). All I have to do is acknowledge that. That's it!

I will outline it in a handy-dandy checklist:

• Acknowledge that the person you want to make happy is trying.

You are thinking, “It can’t be that simple.” But, yes. Yes it is that simple. I can prove it.

Think of the last time a complete stranger did something nice to you, or handed you a compliment, or something. Maybe they waved you ahead of them in traffic. Maybe they picked up something you dropped when your arms were full. Maybe they complimented you on the shirt you picked out this morning. Whatever it was, it may have been the one thing, the one little thing that absolutely made your day. And maybe, just maybe, that one little bit of contact made you… happy? Oh, shit. There it is.

All you have to do is acknowledge that someone is trying. BOOM!

Making other people happy is ridiculously simple. It is so simple, that once you get the hang of it, you won’t be able to stop yourself. I do it all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. Keep in mind, I am not doing it for the other person. I am doing it for myself. For me. I want to be happy.

If this makes me sound like a selfish, petty, shitty person, so be it. But if I place my need for happiness (and then by extension YOUR happiness) up there with food, clothing, and shelter, or sex, drugs, and rock-'n'-roll, or a hug from my mom, does it matter? Would you hold it against me? Do you really care why your happiness is so important to me? 

No, you don't. This is a case where the ends absolutely justify the means because the upshot of all of this is we both come out happy. The power of happithy.

What if we all did that? What if we all, very selfishly, tried to make other people happy? What if that is what we were greedy for? What if everyone was fighting each other to make each other happy? 

That's a battle I would jump into each and every time.