Life Is How You React To It
Whatever just happened will not change by what you do next.
Shit happens. Round here we call that The Life Chaotic. When out of the chaos comes something we don’t expect, we have a tendency to react as if the impossible just happened. And depending on what jumped out of the chaos we react with wide and varying degrees of emotions:
You find a dollar and you are happy.
Someone finds twenty dollars and you are envious.
You get a flat tire and you are angry.
You spill milk and you are sad.
Notice that all of the events are chaotic:
You find a dollar.
Someone finds twenty dollars.
You get a flat tire.
You spill milk.
You can’t control any of these things. They happen. They are chaos.
Notice that all of the reactions come after the fact:
You are happy.
You are envious.
You are angry.
You are sad.
These reactions do not happen BEFORE the chaos: Your reaction does not cause anything to happen:
Your happiness does not cause you to find a dollar.
Your envy does not cause someone to find twenty dollars.
Your anger does not cause you to get a flat tire.
Your sadness did not cause your milk to spill.
We react to chaos. However we react to it will not change what happened. We might as well say:
You find a dollar on the ground and you are angry.
Someone finds twenty dollars and you are embarrassed.
You get a flat tire and you are happy.
You spill your milk and you are envious.
None of the reactions changed what happened. What happened happened. The past is pretty definitive in that regard. However you react to something happening doesn’t change that it happened. And however that sentence is reworded doesn’t change what it means:
Your reactions cannot change the past.
You can react to anything that happens in this world anyway you want and it won’t make one iota of difference to what happened. You can cry all you want over the spilled milk, the milk will still be spilled. You can be angry, excited, scared, happy. Take your pick. Each and every reaction will have the exact same effect on the milk. The milk will still be dripping off the table and onto the floor.
REACTION TIME
Okay, this is all well and good, but (one can argue) in the heat of the moment reactions are hardly containable. This is true. Reactions have a tendency to burst like a dam. Even so, we should probably ask ourselves… “why”? Do we need to react quickly? Is there a benefit to harsh, fast responses to stimuli? The answer is, No. No there isn’t. Sure our fight-or-flight response might kick in just because that is what it does, but you can tamp down fight-or-flight pretty easily when you see that the milk isn’t going to drip on anything important.
Ask yourself this: how much time do you allow between something happening to you and your reaction to it? Have you ever thought about it? Is it ridiculously fast? Do you respond without thinking? Can you slow it down?
The next time chaos comes crashing into your personal space give yourself a moment (just a wee little moment) to consider your reaction time. If you can take the time to realize you're taking time, perhaps you can always take some time. I’m not asking you to count to ten. Just a wee little moment.
ACTION - wee little moment - REACTION
Once you have given yourself space to contemplate your reaction speed, maybe (just maybe) you can take that time to consider adjusting your emotional response from whatever it was going to be to, oh, I don’t know, maybe… having an amused sense of wonderment of what you are experiencing.
Because if you can do that, then HOT DAMN!:
Find a dollar, amused sense of wonderment.
Someone finds $20, amused sense of wonderment.
Flat tire, amused sense of wonderment.
Spill your milk, amused sense of wonderment.
Sure, you are not going to be happy happy about getting a flat tire, but you might be able to quietly marvel at all of the random happenstances that coalesced into the moment you are having right now. And when you do that then you have conquered what you thought was your inevitable reckless and wanton reaction to any chaotic circumstance by making a choice.
AND IF YOU CAN DO THAT?! Well, slap my face and remember this day…
Welcome, my friend, to a brave new world. Happiness is a choice.