Be The Kind Stranger

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be kind.

I am looking for an army. Well maybe not an army. A phalanx. Not even a phalanx. I’m just looking for a few good people who are willing to show kindness to others for no reason other than simply to be kind. It’ll be fun.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be The Kind Stranger¹. It’s a secret mission. No one can find you out. Your task is to make someone's day just a little bit better - on the sly.

You need no special tools, or fancy gizmos. You don’t get a car that turns into a submarine or a watch that shoots lasers. We don’t have the budget for that². You’re going to have to rely on your wits, your bravery, and your exceptional good looks.

Here are the rules of engagement.

BE POLITE

For the love of all things ebullient and jolly, be mindful of your Ps & Qs. We live in a world where people just jump into statements or questions without a run-up. Drives my batty. Try throwing around some old classics like “please”, “thank you”, or “excuse me”. If you want to get fancy, whip out a “pardon me” every once in a while. Nothing lubricates like good manners.

BE RESPECTFUL

Everyone deserves respect until they prove otherwise. Sure, they may have not done anything to earn your respect, but they haven't done anything to NOT earn it either. How about we default to giving people respect right off jump street - see what they do with it?

BE INTENTIONAL

There seems to be a lot of… anger in this world right now. Maybe there is justification for it. Maybe it’s just drummed up bullshit for the masses to latch onto. Whatever. On an individual level, people aren’t inherently cruel or even not nice. They are indifferent. And that pervasive indifference tends to degrade into something far worse. It’s what we’re fighting against. Be intentional in how you treat others. It matters.

BE A CHAMPION

We have talked about not being a jackwagon³. The opposite of that is being a champion: a person who believes everyone else’s hopes and dreams are just as important, and their hardships just as difficult, as their own. Everyone is dealing with their own life and that’s hard enough without having to deal with people (especially the indifferent ones). You can have a major impact on a stranger’s day just by recognizing that we are all in this together and cheering them on when you get the chance.

THE SHADOW KNOWS

Here’s the thing though: You must go into this without expecting anyone to care or even fully appreciate what you’re up to⁴. This is a game where you get no recognition. There is no trophy to hoist. Your name will not be etched in stone. The only place where you may exist is in the memory of someone you may never see again. And even then they might not remember anything other than a subtle understanding that, somehow, their day was just a little bit better.

That’s where we make our presence known: in the “just a little bit better”.

As always, should you or any of your shenanigans be found out, The Happiness Guy will disavow any knowledge of your actions⁵. This Substack will self-destruct in five seconds⁶.

1. This post was inspired by a comment on one of my notes from Andrea Hoffmann @whatarethechances All she said was “Be the kind stranger,” and that struck an oh so beautiful chord.

2. At first I thought it would be really cool if everyone dressed like ninjas. A secretive force that works in the shadows with no one seeing the trickiness and level of skill needed to perform superhuman feats of ninja-ness. But, after thinking about it, nothing could be more secretive than a bunch of people dressed in their regular clothes doing their thing. I mean, dressing like a ninja (unless you’re a ninja) is the exact opposite of being discreet.

3. I cannot stress this enough: Do not be a jackwagon:

4. You’re being sneaky, remember.

5. I am more than willing to totally avow ALL of your shenanigans. In fact, you should probably just share this mission with others.

6. Actually, it’s stored in the cloud. It will probably last forever.