Do Not Romanticize The Past. Romanticize The Future.
We are all fighting in a battle between the future we want and a past of our own creation.
Due to the economics of time as we get older we incorrectly value our past experiences at the same level as we value the present1.
As a reminder: Supply and demand dictates that as we get older we place more value on time. Regardless of that sliding scale we tend to use our current age to value our past and future. Consequently we overvalue the past and undervalue the future2.
This miscalculation provokes people to say things like:
It was better in the past (“back in my day”).
Kids today are shit (“when I was that age”).
Both of those statements are such a load of horse manure they could fertilize the whole of the Gobi Desert. They are accusatory, grossly misrepresentative and, worse than anything, unhelpful. Let’s break them down:
BACK IN MY DAY
We humans improve upon things every moment of every day. It is what we do - whether we know we’re doing it or not3. We find things that suck and then make them suck less. We are hardwired to advance ourselves. Sure, we may screw up from time to time, but that is part of the process.
You have done this yourself. We all have done this. Back when we were just little shits - figuring things out, screwing up, adjusting, and trying again - we were attempting to make things better. If not just for ourselves, but incrementally (and perhaps unwittingly) for those in our immediate spheres of influence. And you succeeded, at least to a degree.
Anyone who looks back at their past and concedes that things were better then than they are now is admitting failure. They’re saying they did a really shitty job of building the present and are giving up on the future. The only thing left to offer is a criticism of a world they increasingly know nothing about. That's a sad place to concede to. It's a self-loathing and counterproductive wormhole no one should allow themselves to get sucked into.
Anyone who exclaims that it was better “back in my day” is declaring that it was they themselves that made things worse from "the good old days" to the present.
They shouldn’t be bragging about it.
WHEN I WAS THAT AGE
This is a variation of “back in my day” which goes one step further and blames the state of how shitty the present situation is on the youths (as if they had anything to do with it!) This is a spinning wheel of craptasticness that has been turning for millennia: people fuck things up - age - blame the fuck up on the new generation - repeat.
Every generation (including yours) was bemoaned by their elders as more awful than past generations and ruining the world. And all of those old fuckers were quick to blame new-fangled technology on ruining innocent minds that would otherwise grow up as strong and pure as they did (*cough* bullshit!)
I am old enough to remember that:
Television was ruining our children.
Rock and Roll was ruining our children.
Walkmans were ruining our children.
Video games were ruining our children.
Smartphones were ruining our children.
Social media is currently ruining our children.
Artificial Intelligence will soon be ruining our children.
It seems every invention WE create is really shitty for our children. Why do we keep making life better for ourselves if, in the end, it turns our children into crappy human beings?
BECAUSE IT DOESN’T! The kids will figure it out just fine, just like we did. We are all human and, in case you forgot, we all have more in common than we give ourselves credit for - yes, even the young’uns. Kids today are trying (like we did). Really hard (like we did). Despite our rosy view of life when we were snot nosed little brats ourselves, kids today are going through the same shit we did.
We need to give them the credit and respect they deserve.
THE YOUTHS AREN’T OFF THE HOOK
Don’t look so smug, kids. You're in a similar, yet opposite, position. Due, once again, to the economics of time you incorrectly value the future at the same level as your present - meaning you do not give the future near enough worth. You WILL build a better world for yourself. I know because I’ve been there. You are going to try, fuck up, learn, iterate and build a new and exciting future (until you grow up and a new generation of kids comes along and screws it all up 😉)4.
“Be curious, not judgemental” - Walt Whitman
Packaging up the different age groups in handy-dandy generational generalities is worthwhile inasmuch as our shared experiences give us a shorthand for knowing each other. But they come with all the stereotypical stereotype booby-traps we have come to expect from such segmentation, most insidiously the vilifying of all those who “aren’t us”. The trick for all generations is to remember that, regardless of age, we are all trying.
We are all fighting in a battle between the future we want and a past of our own creation.
We look back at the solidity of the past with comfort. But it is cold comfort. The past holds no promise or hope. It is done. The paint is dry. The past is art hanging in the dusty museums of our memories. The future, on the other hand, is a blank canvas.
Don't judge the young for having small art collections (we’ve all been there). Likewise, don't begrudge the old for curating sizable exhibitions (we’re all going there). Instead ask questions, offer support, and be happy for everyone’s successes.
So, for the sake of a common goal, don't romanticize the past.
Romanticize the future.
As a 57 year old dude, I speak from a moment further up the scale.
Ideally it would be the opposite of that.
The whole point of The Happiness Guy is to impress upon all of us to improve knowingly and purposefully. But I digress.
*shaking fist to the sky* GET OFF MY LAWN!