The Girl With The Blue Hair

She made my world a bit better. I let her know.

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This goes out to all of the new subscribers here at The Happiness Guy. Most of you were driven here by a Note I posted a few weeks back about a girl and her blue hair (It has received thousands of likes and is still going strong).

In this article I will try to explain how the concepts of The Happiness Guy played out in that elevator, why it was not a singular or accidental moment, and how you can (without much effort) have those moments for yourself.

Here is the Note in all its glory:

I was waiting for an elevator when a woman and her daughter stepped up next to me. The daughter was, maybe, 12 years old and had a glorious plume of tight curls on her head, the top most dyed a beautiful shade of blue. Her hair had an almost ombré effect as it mixed with the black hair below it. It was stunning. So I turned to her and said, "excuse me, your hair is fantastic."

She sheepishly smiled and said, "Thank you."

I said, "No, no. Thank you. I'm the one who gets to look at it."

Her smile broadened. Then the mother turned to her child and said, "See. Your grandma doesn't know what she's talking about."

Ugh. Here's this kid trying on a new expression of herself and getting kicked for it. I'm glad I said something. 

I got to my floor before they did. As I stepped off the girl piped up, "Have a nice day!"

I smiled back, "You too," as the mother mouthed "thank you" behind her.

That was more than enough fuel to get me through my day.

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AH, THAT’S NICE

This is, if I do say so myself, a really cute story. I am incredibly grateful for all of you who have liked, commented on, and restacked it. It seems to resonate with a lot of people with its kindness, largesse, and reassurance. Man, I come across as a really great guy¹, but that’s not why I shared the story. 

I shared the story because this is what we all should be doing for each other all the time. It’s a future I want, so it’s a future I actively participate in. I am here to convince you to speak up when someone deserves a compliment or a kind word. I want you to participate in this future as well. 

HOW IT WORKS

(The links below are to previous articles I have written about happiness. Click and enjoy.)

Throw Compliments Like Confetti. I have a deal with myself to give a compliment every day (if the opportunity presents itself). Why have I made this deal?  Two reasons: 

1. Because I know how it feels to get a totally random compliment. 

2. If I don’t let people know that they are making a difference in my world, how will they know?

Compliments are cheap, easy, and will stick to a person long after they have left the party².

When Decisions Collide Random interactions can have a dramatic impact on people. This compliment had a dramatic positive impact.

You Have An Impact Man, I did not see the grandma thing coming. But I know one small decision can have a domino effect that will set off a chain reaction of ever greater implications. Apparently grandma was in that stack of dominoes.

I Know You Just like everyone else on this planet, this kid was trying. We all have that in common. We have to respect the effort.

Accept Joy When Offered Back To You The kid wishing me a nice day put a smile on my heart. But, when the mother mouthed that quiet “Thank you”... BOOM… that was a nuclear blast of joy. It was then that my feet stopped touching the floor. 

Find Happiness In The Happiness Of Others Yes, the little girl might have gained a little more confidence, and her mother may have got just this much more proud of her kid. I hope more than anything that both of their days got as bright and joyful as mine (they probably did). But, I didn’t do it for them. 

I did it for me.

I want to be happy. I want the world to be a better place. I want children to feel confident to grow up to be whoever it is they want to be. I want parents to be proud of their kids. I want people to be kind. I want strangers to be joyful. There is only one way I can guarantee that is going to happen to me: I have to do it for myself. I do that by being kind, supportive, considerate, and thankful to any person who swims close enough to my influence.

Do you want it for yourself? Then go get it! It's not hard. 

Tell people when they make you happy.

The whole reason The Happiness Guy exists is because people are constantly asking me, "Why are you always so happy?" It's because I find opportunities to do things like this all the time. That a blue haired girl and her mother had a better day because of me is just a wonderful, beautiful and wholly anticipated side effect of making myself happy.

If you thought what I did was brave, then I'd tell you to be kind. I dare you.

If you thought I did it for the kid, then I’d tell you to be kind. See how it makes you feel.

I'm not asking you to change THE world. I'm asking you to change YOUR world. When enough of us do that… well,  we'll see what happens.

1. I mean, I am, but that’s not the point.

2. My wife and I had a party (okay, parties) a few years back where confetti throwing played a large part in the festivities. We are, to this day, still finding confetti in strange and unlikely places. It brings us right back to how much fun those parties were.